Life has become totally blank for Tara and Shekar. Both of them are praying for only one thing, ..safe return of their darling Roohi. Tara is feeling guilty, dejected, depressed and has realized that the one and the only thing she needs in life is the happiness of her daughter. She doesn’t want anything more but her daughter. The maid came and finished her work. She asked if there was any news of Roohi, and the only reply she could get from Tara was tears.
It hurt Shekar to see her wife in so much pain and helpless condition. Tara who was always strong and determined had become so dull and weak. Shekar prepared tea for Tara. He took some courage and told Tara that they have to be strong. He assured her that Roohi will be fine. Tara hugged Shekar and burst into tears. She confessed that, she ignored Roohi and it is her fault. Shekar consoled her. He told her it is not her fault and it is just their fate. Now both of them hoped for only one thing, their child Roohi to be safe.
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Jennifer was all the more thrilled to work with Vijay. She wore her favorite Cotton top with polka dots and matching bangles which she had bought from handicrafts exhibition. She joined Vijay for breakfast. Vijay on the other hand felt lucky that he was in the company of Jennifer who was not just beautiful but hard working too. They discussed their agenda for the day. Jennifer was impressed by his approach to work. This is the weakness of all intelligent girls, they easily fall prey to smart men. But they take time to realize that, what they need in men is loving heart and not intelligence.
They finished breakfast and their first task was to meet Inspector Tawde. They reached the police station and introduced themselves to Inspector Tawde. Tawde told them that Child trafficking has become a big headache as the children are more vulnerable to these kidnaps. With increasing nuclear families and reducing attention on children, the children become easy prey to these kidnappers. Tawde tells them that the police force alone cannot find the culprits, the society should take responsibility and keep the police informed when ever suspicious events happen around them. Vijay and Jennifer agreed to what Mr. Tawde told. Then Tawde gave them the files of missing children and took leave from Vijay and Jennifer as he had to attend another urgent case.
Vijay and Jennifer went through the files and were horrified to see the photos cute little kids. For a moment Jenny felt dizzy and was about to fall. Vijay held her in his arms and made her sit on the chair. His heart started beating heavily by the touch of her. He told her she can go back to hotel and take rest, even though he did not want to miss her company even for a moment. Jenny said, ‘its ok, I am fine’. She was all the more determined to take up this challenging task after looking at those innocent pictures of missing little ones. They also noted down the addresses of missing kids, so that they can speak to their parents.
Vijay wanted to make best use of this trip not just for professional reasons but also for personal reasons as his love for Jennifer started blooming moment after moment. He thought of taking her to the beach first before the next task. They went to the beach and enjoyed the rush of wind and water at the sea shore. Jennifer was thinking how calm and serene the Kochi beaches are compared to the crowded Mumbai beaches. Meanwhile Vijay listed the address of parents whom they have to meet. Vijay told Jennifer she can accompany him as she looked tired. But Jennifer refused telling she can work independently so that they can save time. They divided their work and Vijay went on to meet one of the parents of missing kids. Jennifer thought of taking some photographs of the beach before leaving the beach.
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Jennifer thinks of taking the photographs of as many kids as possible so that it might help her in her project. When she looks at the kids around her, she finds that all the kids are happily playing with their parents, friends, guardians. Nevertheless she took photos of them. She spotted a girl who is crying, she was with a woman, the woman did not look like child’s mother. She felt something fishy and took the photo. She wanted to go near the child and talk to her but the child was gone!!
Her phone rang and it was Cyrus. She did not answer the call. It rang again and she answered telling she is too busy to talk with him. Cyrus told her that he is in Mumbai and wants to meet her. Jennifer was annoyed as she did not want any personal matter to distract her in this challenging task she had taken. She sternly told Cyrus she has no time for him. But Cyrus pleaded to meet her, he promised her he wont take much of her time. Finally she agreed to meet him as she was eager to share with him the photos she took, especially the photo of the girl who disappeared after she took the photo.
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It was almost one hour and there was no sign of Jennifer. He thought of calling her again to ask where she was, but thought it might annoy her. Cyrus did not want to make any mistake this time. He had made up his mind to announce his love for Jennifer. He did not want to lose her at any cost. His mind was spinning through all the beautiful moments of the past. The entry of Vijay in their life was like the entry of Villain in a movie. The thought of Vijay would make his face become red with anger. He was totally lost in all these thoughts… suddenly he heard the familiar female voice “why are you here?”
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You may be a parent, an employee or an employer. It is very much important that we are aware how to tackle situations like Child Abuse, if it happens around us.
Child Abuse
Here are some guidelines by NIMHANS Bangalore.
National Institute of Mental Health And Neuro-Sciences has sent an advisory to schools, parents, police and media to enable them to deal with a case of child sex abuse, in the right way.
Many a times, schools and parents do not know how to deal with Child Sexual Abuse (CSA). The result is delayed complaints / no complaints, destruction of concrete evidence unknowingly, not caring for the identity and dignity of the child enough, insensitive media coverage etc., which come in the way of delivering justice and to the traumatised child and family and getting their life back on track.
National Institute of Mental Health And Neuro-Sciences (NIMHANS) has prepared an advisory which has many important points to be taken care of by everyone.
Need for a child-centric response to CSA
The continual reporting of child sexual abuse (CSA) by media, in the context of many recent events raises the challenge of how to tackle the national menace of this ‘silent violent epidemic’. A critical aspect of child protection, also a child public health issue, CSA warrants systemic approaches that are uncompromisingly child-centric.
Part of this has to do with preventive programs in schools and other childcare agencies. Focus on prevention has the potential to reduce sexual victimization and even sexual offences in the general population. However, when an event occurs, it is addressed by systems of criminal justice, police, schools, families, and healthcare, which generate a flurry of incoherent activity, albeit in good faith, thereby compromising the child’s best interests.
The major emphasis of these activities are directed towards the child ‘victim’ through enquiry, interrogation and intrusive detailing of the event to verify it and then bring the perpetrator to book. The balance between the need for justice and empowered rehabilitation of the child becomes precarious. There is thus an urgent need to develop a protocol-based systemic response ensuring that the child’s agenda i.e. healing and recovery, is at the core of it.
Over the past year, the Department of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry at NIMHANS has received several children with CSA issues. When they come for help, they are extremely overwhelmed after visits to the Child Welfare Committee, police station, the hospital; by then, the child has been subjected to questioning on multiple occasions and therefore to re-traumatization.
There are many areas which have to be systematically addressed namely, the child’s reaction to the abuse, ensuring the child’s immediate safety, medical and mental health needs of the child, the concerns of the family, including social stigma. On the other hand, there is a sense of urgency to in legal procedures. Towards this, there is an understandable emphasis by the police on evidence and enquiry processes and related pressure from media and civil society, raising questions on the timely nature and effectiveness of these processes.
What a child-centric response entails:
Based on our experience, NIMHANS believes that planned, protocol-based, comprehensive and sensitive care should be provided at all stages of intervention to victimized children. The primary goal is to create a system of investigation which is child friendly and in accordance with principles of child rights and protection.
Where can families go for help?
Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act 2013 (POCSO) mandates that the child be provided with emergency medical services (EMS) within 24 hours of filing the FIR. EMS are provided by state Registered Medical Practitioners (RMP) in government hospitals (Vani Vilas and Indira Gandhi Institute of Child health) and only in absence of such an agency should the child be referred to other sectors. Where the Special Juvenile Police Units (SJPU) work in collaboration with government hospitals, the detailed enquiry can be completed in one sitting rather than the child being interviewed multiple times.
Once the medical examination is done and there is medical evidence, what the Dept. of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, NIMHANS can offer is combined therapeutic and forensic interviewing to assist both the healing of the child and the necessary justice processes. This interviewing is done based on existing international protocols which are child-sensitive and can stand the scrutiny of court procedures.
In children with symptoms, we work through trauma by encouraging expression of feelings regarding the abuse, validating experiences, and teaching personal safety. In very young children, this is done through art and play work. We offer social interventions in order to help the family cope with the consequences of abuse, also facilitating liaison with the Child Welfare Committee (CWC), Centre for Child and Law (CCL) and legal aid services as necessary.
It is important for parents to not ignore or undermine a child’s statements and innocuous remarks. When in doubt it would be prudent to corroborate the information from various sources. An open, supportive stance, assuming a position that child is right would be helpful to facilitate further disclosure on abuse. It would be judicious to err on the side of caution especially in face of long term consequences of CSA. It is also important not to blame the child. The support given by the parent helps in facilitating better healing of the victimized child.
School’s response
Preventive workshops, personal safety workshop, life skills education can help as preventive strategies. However, when an incident takes place the system should have a clear protocol for response. This protocol should entail the following:
Whether the CSA incident occurs within or outside the school premises, by school staff or others, especially if a child reports to anyone in the school, the school’s position must be one of acknowledgement and involvement.
Every school must have a pre-set response plan which should include:
An identified person (known to the children) who can respond in a sensitive and gentle manner to alleged instances of abuse reported by the child.
A next-level reporting authority (such as the principal) who will inform the parents.
The school should guide and make available to parents the first level medical and other facilities to seek assistance (described above).
Unless the school has a trained counselor or CSA expert, it should not attempt to interrogate the child. This needs to be done by trained experts, preferably in child mental health agencies such as NIMHANS or accredited comprehensive child response units.
The school needs to take a proactive stance with the concerned parents and other parents. They may also need to be alert to the impact on other children and get appropriate experts to do de-briefing as necessary.
Furthermore, preparation needs to be made to receive the child back to the school in natural and non-stigmatizing ways so that the child re-integrates comfortably.
Police involvement
In the immediate aftermath of trauma, when there is non-availability of a trained person within the police forces for sensitive interviewing of the child, they need to refer to an expert in agencies such as NIMHANS, where forensic interview protocols are followed in the context of healing interventions.
Police need to be cognizant that interview processes involving children cannot be hastened as it can exacerbate the trauma and be detrimental to the child’s well-being. For instance, taking a child back to the scene of crime and asking him/her to explain/demonstrate what happened, causes the child to relive the trauma and could interfere with recovery; also, such pressure on the child is less likely to elicit accurate information.
They need to understand that there are robust acceptable methods of gathering forensic evidence to meet the immediate legal ends.
Media – good practice
Media should be proactive in responding to crisis in ways that instill hope and confidence in the public versus fueling cynicism as the latter may only serve to increase the child’s trauma, and the family’s fears of social stigma.
The media must protect the identity and privacy of the child. This includes allowing and enabling the family to pursue due medical and legal processes without heightening their trauma by repeated and sometimes intrusive queries.
It would be helpful for the media, at the time of query/ reporting, to assist the family with information about where medical, mental health and legal, paralegal services is available.
Reporting on CSA could emphasize systems and treatments available for assistance, and strongly present the child’s entitlement to healing. This can be done by providing an on-going feedback about recovery and rehabilitation of the child.
Here is an update about the gruesome incident that took place in Vibgyor school Bangalore. A 6 year old child was raped by 2 teachers and the school authorities are not taking responsibility for kids. Here is the updates I got from a parent.
Update on vibgyor incident:Those who
cannot make it today…Here is update
The incident took place on 2nd July and child of 1st grade was sexually assaulted by 2 school teachers.
Two SPA coaches of school are involved in the incident i.e. Gymnastic Teacher and Western Dance Teacher
The incident took place in main block of the school between 11:30 AM to 12:30 PM in some dark room
School is trying to cover up the entire incident and not ready to take any responsibility. School is trying to prove that incident happened outside the school but police confirmed it happened in Main Block
Possibility of more people being involved cannot be ruled out by police as the Aaya (maid) took the timeout and she only took the child to dark room and after that she only took the child to washroom for cleaning on the day of incident
The SPA teachers assaulted child on the pretext of punishing her and threatened her of dire consequences after the incident
Both the teachers are in police custody but not arrested yet8. The class teacher, Primary coordinator, SPA coordinator and other teachers are being questioned by the police. All SPA activities are suspended by the school sine die till the investigation is over.
This is not the 1st incident but many parents highlighted & reported multiple cases of molestation and child abuse within Vibgyor premises in last few years….In-fact last week 1 girl student of 6th class was molested by swimming teacher in school. The gymnastic teacher who is arrested, there were multiple complaints in past against him for taking pics of girl child and molestation. If school would have taken action against Gymnastic teacher on time then this horrific incident could have been avoided.
All parents were aghast and shocked by the attitude of school authorities…The principal was hiding behind and on top of it school authorities named the child in public domain which is a serious crime…Parents were concerned that any tom, dick and harry can be teacher in VIBGYOR HIGH and most of the teachers are working for pocket money…They are not trained teachers & just doing time pass…Send your kids at own risk till end of academic year….It was shocking to know experience of other parents and it is one of most dangerous schools in Bangalore with lot many untold stories of child molestation and abuse.
Please pass on this message to all your friends through all what’s app groups… A protest march is organized against gang rape of 6 year child in Vibgyor High School, Marathalli, Bangalore on 19th July (Saturday) at 10 am. It will start from Vibgyor School, near kundalahalli gate, thubarahalli, Bangalore….this horrific incident is now covered by national media….please circulate on all What’sapp groups…it will be our small contribution to bigger cause and will help in making world a safer place for kids..
Request all of you to spread this message. Let us join in the fight against such incidents. The school authorities and people involved have to be severely punished. It can happen only with our efforts.
I just signed the petition “Karnataka Education Minister Kimmane Ratnakar: Issue directive to all schools in Bangalore to impose security measures for the safety of children” on Change.org.
It’s important. Will you sign it too? Here’s the link:
Person 1 – Excuse me, do we get buses towards airport here? – (Kan) Excuse me, illige airportige hoguva bussugaLu baratta?
person 2 – sorry, I do not know. – (kan) Kshamisi. Nanage gottilla
Person 3 – It comes here. But you should wait on the other side of the road. – (kan) adu illige baruttade. aadare neevu rasteya aa badiyalli kaayabeku.
person 1 – oh, is it? ( kan) Oh, Houdaa?
person 1 – Do you know the bus numbers? – ( kan) nimage bussina number gaLu gotta?
Person 3 – all numbers with 18 go to airport. – (kan) hadinentarinda shuru aaguva ellaa bussugaLoo airportige hogottave.
Well its good to be loyal to your spouse, but is it good if you are loyal to your company? When I say company, it means two things both the organisation where you work, or the company of friends which you keep!!
You are loyal to your organisation but organisation needs someone who is having the expertise in latest technology, Then organisation wouldn’t mind breaking strings with you and tie another knot with another more valid and skilled employee! Isn’t it? Then why should we be loyal to the company?
And now lets talk about the company of friends. Over the years we see that our way of thinking is going tremendous change. A person who considered love marriage to be sin, might now see that its other way round! She might think arranged marriage is sin and love marriage is the most divine thing. But her friend who supported her old idea might not support her new idea.
When your way of thinking changes and the company you keep no longer accept it, then what is the fun in keeping such company? Rather such company becomes pain in the neck. But why am I telling all these?
Because I feel we often get addicted our gadgets in the same way as we get addicted to our company. Not bothering to know there are other better things out there. I have my computer ie desktop which I bought in 2000!, I have laptop which my husband gifted me in 2009! I have a tablet which I bought because of some indiblogger coupon I got . But in-spite of all these both my personal and professional life are lagging behind because of the inefficiency of these gadgets!!
The laptop suddenly started giving problems from past few months. I didn’t want to reformat it because there are few programs installed in it, I dont know if that could be copied to other system, as the program said for one system only when I bought it. It is some education software for my daughter
and it has courses from pre-primary till grade 4 and she is still in grade 2. Losing it now will mean losing two years interactive chapters.
My fun book is of no use to me as it does not have Microsoft office in it. Also the more the memory is used the slower it becomes.
I cannot even use my husband’s office laptop as it has Lotus in it and not Microsoft office!!
Oh god, life has really become hell depending on all these losers!!
This is when I got ASUS, it was like dream come true. I could start working on all the pending work I had. I could start participate in all blog contests J
I could make presentations for my Training sessions.
There was no need to be always plugged in as it gives 11 hours battery life. Hence I could easily keep it in hand and continue my working while sleeping beside my daughter.
So the life wont stop with Asus.. your new partner for life…
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